I just stumbled upon an article about introvert and I found that interesting because it perfectly describes me. The article is from here. It's about 10 things that introvert wants to let people know about them to make our lives easier. Let's talk about each point one by one and see how I can relate.

1. NEVER COME TO AN INTROVERT’S HOME WITHOUT WARNING THEM FIRST. Nothing rocks our world quite like unexpected social interaction. No matter how much we like you, we need to know you are coming ahead of time. Otherwise, we will hide under the bed. You’ll know we’re there, we’ll know you know, and it will all be very awkward. Don’t do this to us.

YESSSSS!!! I remember the day when my college friends were kind enough to give me a surprise birthday party in my own apartment. I didn't know anything about it, so when they finally knocked on my door and screamed "SURPRISE!", instead of feeling happy, I felt annoyed. I maybe smiled and thanked them but deep down inside I felt bothered. "What the fuck are you guys doing here? I'm not welcoming you, actually." That's what I really wanna say to them. I appreciate their kind gesture, but please, don't ever do that anymore to me. It's torturing. Really (especially when we're not that close). 

2. DON’T ASSUME THAT QUIET PEOPLE ARE DULL. Just because we don’t articulate our thoughts doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Go ahead, ask us for an opinion. Get ready to be blown away. While our mouths may be still, our brains are moving at a mile a minute.

Every single minute. My brain works so hard to process everything around me. You will find me staring blankly a lot of times. It's not like I have no thoughts. On the contrary, I think a lot of things during that. Also, not so many people know a detail about me, even my best friends and family still know a little about me. Why? Because I never told them. Why? Because they never asked. And because of that, sometimes they're kinda surprised to see how I think about something when they finally ask or when I finally talk. Sometimes they found it crazy and thought about what world I live in. Ask me a question then I will answer. If you don't, don't expect any words from me, unless I feel it's time for me to talk.

3. DON’T ASSUME OUR SILENCE MEANS WE AGREE WITH YOU. Most introverts do not like voicing disagreement. We might even nod along or humor you with a smile. Please don’t go around telling people we agree with whatever offensive or wildly ignorant thing you might have said. We’re judging you on the inside.

Oh, hell yeah. I judge people every time. Haha. One of my fave things to do is observing people - people watching. If I had a chance to do it in real life, I will do it. But since I don't really like going out, so mostly I do people watching through the internet. It's not like I'm stalking someone through their social media (I have to say sometimes it's fun, especially to stalk on your crush. Haha) but to see the comment section of a writing that interests me. By reading the comment section, I can see how people think and act. And it's super-duper interesting to see how different we all are or how on the same page we are. Oh, and it can give me a new perspective about humans too.

I personally don't like conflict and appreciate differences. So if you're having an offensive and ignorant thing to say when I'm around, I will still be in silence. Why? Because I appreciate the way you're thinking. But deep down inside I may see you differently. Not that I'm gonna cut my ties immediately, but I will be more careful when I'm around you. We're still gonna be friends, but I'm not gonna agree to all of your saying. 

This has a bad side though, when it's hard to voice disagreement. Since I don't like conflict, most of the time I avoid it. Instead of saying what it needs to be said, most of the time I found myself swallowed everything back again. This can be annoying for myself because sometimes it makes me looked like I was incapable of doing something right to myself. And I'm afraid that one day I might explode like crazy because I keep everything inside.

4. GIVE US OUR SPACE, PLEASE. If your introverted friend only wants to see you twice a month or so, they are not blowing you off. In fact, they most likely treasure the time that you spend together. However, an introvert’s social energy is very limited and must be spread strategically. The fact that we choose to spend any of it on you at all is a good indication that we like you a great deal.

Please. Pretty please. Sometimes I feel bad towards my best friends and family for not always be around with them. There are a lot of times when I cancel a meet up just because I don't feel like it. There, I said it. Yes, sometimes I lie to them and give them a reason. Sorry for that. It really needs a will from inside of me to socialize. Socializing is hard, you know? I'm glad though that my closest people understand the way I act. I have to admit that I barely contact them or meet them. And they never seemed to complain about it (or at least that's what I thought. Haha). If I contact them, it means that I miss them and I'm ready to interact. And yes, I love the time I spend with them. Every single minute of it.  

5. KNOW THAT YOU CAN LEAN ON US. Introverts are loyal to the very core. If you are one of the few people we let into our small circle, know that you can call on us for anything. We’re ride-or-die types.

I think sometimes people hesitate to call me or let me know when they have a problem. Maybe because I never really contact them so they thought I might not be interested. But, I can promise you, my friends and family, if you need me, I'll be there. For real. If I can help you, I will definitely do that, as long as you let me know and it's something that I can actually help you with. I still will be objective about it. Hehe. ROD? Yes, pretty much. I will try my best to help my closest people.

6. STOP TRYING TO FORCE US INTO NEW FRIENDSHIPS. Having just a few friends is not sad for us – it’s comfortable. We like our small circle. We curated it that way on purpose, and if we are looking to expand it we will let you know. We don’t want to meet your loud friend Beth from spin class. We just want to spend time with you.

Oh, how I don't like it when you said it's only us who's gonna meet, later in the day you came with your other friend to meet me. I will definitely ignore that friend. If you wanna do that, please let me know. If I'm comfortable with that person, probably I will say yes, let's meet. But if I don't, mostly I will say let's meet another time. Unexpected interaction is really a struggle.

7. DON’T ASSUME WE’RE DEPRESSED. DON’T ASK IF WE SUFFER FROM SOCIAL ANXIETY, EITHER. We simply enjoy spending time alone. It’s not an illness. It’s not even a problem. It’s just a personality trait.

Hahahahaha. I think some people around me had thought about me like this too. Yes, I looove being alone so much, it gives me peace. And no, I'm not lonely. Never felt lonely. Well, maybe my perspective of "lonely" is different than yours.

I like to go eat in a restaurant by myself. I like to go to the cinema watching my fave type of movie by myself. I love to be all alone in the house - not because I can do whatever the hell I want, but the fact that I don't have to interact with people. 

8. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP IT WITH THE SMALL TALK. Small talk is pointless, and it is exhausting. Why, extroverts? Why?

9. STOP TRYING TO MAKE US GO OUT. We don’t want to go clubbing. If you must spend time with us, let’s do it on the couch with some ice cream and a great movie. That’s our kind of party.

Oh, how I hate the party. I even hate birthday party. I remember when one of my good friends in college invited me to go to her birthday party in her apartment. I hesitated A LOT. I struggled A LOT just to decide should I go or not. I knew that there would be other people that I didn't know personally would come there too. It meant that I have to interact. It meant small talk. It meant torture. I am never good at it. At all. Probably I'm good at answering but don't expect me to talk and ask you first. It'll never happen. Well, I ended up going to her party but what I did there were sitting in the corner near where the foods were and ended up people watching. I think at that time they thought I was crazy or something coz I was literally the one sitting there while others were interacting with each other.

I'm that crazy that I will not leave my house if I don't have a reason to do so. Not even to buy a shampoo. If buying groceries cannot even make me out, how do you think a party will do? I'm not really comfortable where there are a lot of people around. I like watching a concert by my fave artists or going to a theme park and play all day, but that's it and it's only if I feel like doing it. Don't expect me to go where the crowds are, especially where I have to do interaction.

10. DON’T ASSUME WE’RE COLD BECAUSE WE’RE QUIET. Introverts often get written off as snobbish or hard-hearted. This could not be farther from the truth. Still waters run deep, and our hearts are filled with worry, fear, and insecurity just like everybody else. We just don’t voice our struggles quite as loudly.

I don't know how many times people were annoyed by me when they first met me because they thought that I was a snob. They thought I was unfriendly and unapproachable. Even some of my best friends thought so too. They even wanna slap me in my face. Haha. That's because when I meet people for the first time, I put up my wall really high so I look like I don't care about my surrounding. They don't know how hard it is for me just to say hi. 

My neighbors don't know me at all. I never really talk to them. And if I walk in front of them, I never really look at them and just pass them by. I think they kinda hate me because of that. Hehe. This is actually kinda bad because what if something happened to me, who's gonna help me? Oh, no! *surprised emoji*

Sometimes my friends think that I'm heartless because I sound like a butthole that doesn't care about other people. Haha. Well, sometimes it's true though. *grin*



I told my cousin before that I wanted to be like an extrovert where they can easily make friends and voicing their thoughts. He said to me that it needed practice. Well, I guess maybe that's kinda right. I have to say that I'm way more improved now. No longer a super-duper introvert like I used to before. I learned how to voice my thought, at least through writing. I finally am able to yell for the first time in my life. Dang, that felt good, though I felt guilty afterward. Haha. Maybe worked in a theme park where I had to talk every day had given me a chance to finally be able to interact with people at ease. That's my practice. But yeah...most of the time I'm still the introvert I and people knew. Still don't like big crowd, tend to shut people out and like my space (like Tori Kelly said). Still like making excuses for not going to a meetup, still like to be at home instead of going out, still like to be left alone when in public spaces, and sit quietly in the corner while people watching. Water runs deep, so does my introvert-ness. 

I hope this writing can help you to understand me more if you know me personally. Or to understand people around you that are introverts too. I really wanna make my relationship (any kind of ship) comfortable. So to make it comfortable, people need to know more, right? If you don't know me, then how come you assume things about me? *smile*

*illustrations are from here